June 13th, 2010


GOM: Life In the Fast Lane... Surely Make You Lose Your Mind!


They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavenly bills.

     The Gulf oil disaster may not be the end of the world, but it ought to be plenty bad enough to make folks take stock...

     Instead I hear people bitching about how any move to slow or stop the mad rush to get at every drop of oil on Earth will be detrimental to the "economy".

We've been up and down this highway. Haven't seen a goddamned thing!

     You know... The economy based on people having "jobs" that don't really need to be done so that they can qualify for credit to buy crap they don't really want or need with "money" they don't really have.

They knew all the right people, they took all the right pills.

     Yeah... We desperately need to protect a way of life that is so wonderful that, in order to tolerate it, everyone needs a combination of prescription mood-altering drugs, booze, and American Idol to numb their brains enough to tolerate it.

He was too tired to make it, she was too tired to fight about it.

     Oh, our non-negotiable American Way of Life is so "beneficial" that even young men are having to resort to pharmaceutical aid just to get it up!

     Not only did our fathers going back an unbroken line of a million generations not need little blue pills to make their junk work, their women didn't used to need fertility clinics. In fact, they were far more concerned with finding ways NOT to make more children than they were prepared to raise... A concern our wonderful, petroleum-fueled society has largely negated by making fertility treatments available to anyone with a womb, then removing responsibility for one's own offspring with welfare and other social programs.

There were lines on the mirror, lines on her face.
She pretended not to notice, she was caught up in the race.

     Seems like the least desirable and responsible people in America are encouraged to make the babies, and just look at the kids this society is producing! Sure, every decade looks a bit weird in retrospect. But previous generations could put away the tie-dye, bell-bottoms, and get a haircut when the time came. The current generation is literally mutilating themselves! Getting lost in androgynous vampire fantasies can't be a sign of solid mental health.

Yeah. This is healthy, right?

Eager for action and hot for the game.

     When it's too hot to work in the middle of the day, I do sometimes turn on a television. Local station runs what I call the Doom Reaffirmation Block. Jerry Springer, Steve Wilkos, and the Maury Show... This is what it's come down to folks? People think it's perfectly normal and acceptable to have multiple kids with a "boyfriend" or "fiance" then everyone is supposed to pity the girl because she didn't establish a stable, supportive, committed relationship with the supposed father BEFOREHAND (we old-timers called it "marriage"). Some two-legged tomcat turns out to have spawned babies all over town, and the audience applauds when he repeats the hollow mantra about "stepping up to take care of his kids" when we all know he's full of it. A woman can't narrow the field of possible fathers down to a half-dozen, but we're supposed to feel sorry for her rather than recognizing her for the whore she is? This country has lost its sense of shame and decency.

They went rushin' down that freeway, messed around and got lost.

     Oh, but those shows are just a circus of fringe oddballs and weirdos, right? (Yeah. Right.)

     Let's consider something really "normal" then: Lawns...

     A while back we had a really severe drought in this part of Dixie. Municipal utilities had to restrict water usage. Limited when and how often suburbanites could water their lawns. And there was much wailing and moaning across the land!

     Because the stupid little patches in front of their vinyl-clad McMansions were brown instead of green.

     The suburban lawn may be the icon of American insanity. Too small to do anything with really. But Americans spend massive resources on those little green rectangles. They put themselves into insane debt to "own" it in the first place. Then they seed it. Pour on expensive chemical fertilizers, weed killers, and pesticides, much of which washes into the sewers and contaminates natural resources. Pump endless gallons of perfectly good water onto it. All so we can use expensive, noisy, pollution-pumping, petroleum-consuming machines to mow the grass down like a nice fucking green carpet we can walk past between commuting to our jobs and going inside to watch Dancing With The Stars.

They didn't see the stop sign, took a turn for the worst.

     It should have been obvious a long time ago... It was kinda' understandable that we enjoyed the party of petro-fueled Cornucopia back when we had unlimited quantities of the black gold spewing up out of the ground in Texas, Oklahoma, and Pennsylvania... But we really should have taken the hint when the skies over sunny LA turned notoriously brown, then when a foreign oil cartel could cause us to line up to fill-up while enduring a decade of recessions. As if that weren't enough to tip us off that the joy-ride was over, we got (going-on) twenty years of direct US participation in oil wars in countries nobody would give a damn about if they weren't key to global petroleum trade.

Everything! All the time!

     So here we are... So hell-bent to keep the current soul-crushing, mind-rotting, health-wrecking, morality-twisting, life-warping paradigm going just a little while longer that, even while a desperate attempt to reach beyond our grasp to get a little more oil from miles below Davy Jones' locker is turning the cradle of marine life for the western Atlantic into a colossal toxic stew, most of the American people still won't even consider that, maybe... Just maybe... It's time to seriously change direction.

     And that doesn't mean buying a fucking hybrid car or installing a token solar panel.

Or we can keep hurting along in the fast lane.
It's worked out so well thus far, right?

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